"Dear Windows Professional Service Pack 2:
"I didn't want to tell you this in person, because I thought it might be too complicated, and might take too long. After all, we've been together for a long time, almost five years and running now. I know, i know. I know you so well; your control panel, your installation procedures, even when you get mad and go all blue screen on me; what can I say, you kinda grew on me.
"But to be honest, things have been going downhill for a long time now..."
