"How Bill Gates and Richard Mellon Scaife used large, firm
breasts to destroy Linux!"
"Handy Web porta-demon Bill Gates and equally convenient kooky
right-wing billionaire Richard Mellon Scaife engaged in a covert
and illegal four-year plan to drive free Linux software out of
business by distracting its sex-crazed programmers with incessant
images of large, succulent breasts, a Salon task force has found
after a 30-year investigation."
"Microsoft mogul and guaranteed Salon page-view generator Gates
and vast-right-wing conspiracy honcho Scaife came up with the
scheme independently, when they realized that the free-software
movement posed a threat to their plans for world domination."
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