"And while Newsforge wouldn't presume to know exactly what items
are on the top 10 most desirable presents list for Linux, we have
acquired the services of a keen little North Pole penguin who's
been helping the old uber-elf keep an eye on Linux this year. We've
received this exclusive report, direct from Santa's workshop, about
the status of the upstart OS's behavior."
"Before we divulge the contents of the report, let's get Santa's
Open Source status straight. He's strictly a user. Sure, a number
of the toymaking elves are rumored to moonlight as game developers,
but when it comes to doling out holiday happiness, the big fat guy
is in charge. So with his checklist in tow, Santa's looking for
features like good GUI and easy hardware installation, quick bootup
and a wide range of wallpaper choices -- things that a large
percentage of the computer-using population consider important when
it comes to operating systems."
"First of all, how does Linux look? Has it been wearing clean,
fashionable clothes, or is it still hanging around in wrinkled
tee-shirts and jeans with holes in the crotch? Santa's little
helper says that several Linux distributions are dressing spiffier
than ever this year, especially the little rich kid, Red Hat, and
his brother Mandrake. Santa gives a nice big checkmark to these
two. (Cousin Corel also had potential, but just when things were
starting to look up, it seems this distribution is about to have
its inheritance yanked out from under it.)"