"At a small press conference in Nepal, attended by two Sherpas
and a Yak, as well as a THG stringer, Microsoft spokeswoman Avril
Wonful announced that the Redmond company had acquired Linux.
Although this surreptitious attempt by Microsoft to kill the Open
Source community was supposed to go unnoticed, THG sources had long
known that Microsoft executives were holed up in a Buddhist
monastery in the area, meditating and trying to achieve greater
"'I think we are all comfortable with being rich, and having
very little to think about while our dominant operating system and
office productivity units keep printing the big bucks,' said one
executive. 'But, we felt that we need to find something more
altruistic, something that would let us give back to the industry
for being so generous to us. We also needed to stick it to the MSN
and Xbox groups, who are dragging the stock price down.'
"So it was that after a few days of living on sticky rice and
tofu, the Microsoft executives came up with a plan to buy Linux.
They made a few calls, and realized that no one really wanted to
own Linux, and that it was available for next to nothing. In fact,
according to sources intimate with the deal making process, Linux
was pretty much given away, and Microsoft's negotiators could not
believe their luck..."