"After 15 hard punches to the flipper, we'll recount the
important moments in your life and the accomplishments you've
managed to rack up before even being allowed to legally buy
cigarettes and porn in most states:
• 1987: MINIX, the more dangerous and hardcore older
brother you've always idolized, was born.
• 1991: Linus Torvalds is pissed he can't access his
university's UNIX servers to his liking, so he wrote the code that
would become your DNA. Which I guess is better than your parents
just getting blind drunk and conceiving you in their Vegas
drive-through honeymoon suite.
• March 13 1994: Judging by this pretty hardcore looking log
file, your version 1.0 was release on this day 15 years ago."