"Linux-related stocks soared this morning after reports that a
first-grade class in suburban Minneapolis learned how to properly
"In other related news, the countries of South America
banded together and announced that in an effort to relieve
third-world debt they would jointly adopt Linux as the official
operating system of the newly renamed continent of
"This is really a shrewd move," said analyst Tony Franke of
King-Matador Securities. "We know that anything related to Linux
defies all the laws of economics as we know them. I would expect
nothing less from LinuxLand." The International Monetary Fund (IMF)
immediately forgave all debt to the new LinuxLand, clearing a way
for an economic resurgence in the Southern Hemisphere."
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