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Segfault: Tech Journalists Begin Work on Incompatible Linux Kernel (Humor)

Oct 26, 2000, 21:17 (4 Talkback[s])
(Other stories by Leonard Richardson)

"If Linux Won't Fork, We'll Make It Fork", Vow Top Pundits"

"A team of journalists has set out to make Linux incompatible with itself. Rebuffed throughout the ages by countless failed predictions of kernel forks, these mavericks have decided to take the code into their own hands. Called "Windix" for maximum brand confusion, the pundit-approved kernel will be subtly but definitively incompatible with the current Linux kernel."

"We're sick of eating crow," said an anonymous industry veteran. "I've been predicting a Linux fork for the past six years, and my editor is starting to get suspicious whenever I turn in another what-if fragmentation scenario. I think he's starting to suspect that I'm using a Perl script to write them."

"Since all existing programs will have to be recompiled to work under Windix, a binary distribution sharing the Windix name is planned, avaliable only for the PowerMac. A text-only, shell-script-driven install will be the only installation option, allowing journalists to dust off their "Installation Nightmare Story" Perl scripts. Neither GNOME, KDE, or X will be included in the distribution, since "Linux has no GUI, dammit."

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