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LinuxPlanet: The StartX Files: Roughed Up by Flightless Water Fowl

May 29, 2001, 12:57 (4 Talkback[s])
(Other stories by Brian Proffitt)

When Brian Proffitt set out to investigate the origins of Tux in order to answer serious questions about the correct use of our favorite mascot's likeness and name, he forgot that nobody expects the Penguin Inquisition. A harrowing tale of naked lightbulbs and bondage among the flightless water fowl.

"Clam up!" Tux yells. "I've heard enough out of you! Now you get to find out what we do to people who mess with Tux! Boys, show him the box!"

A cardboard box slides along the white floor through a gap in the penguin flock at my feet. I look inside to see the mangled remains of a paper clip staring up at me with two pain-filled eyes. I look up at Tux. "Is that Clip--?"

"Yeah, he's one we took care of. And if you know what's good for you, you'll lay off the Tux piece, or you'll look like him!"

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