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Editor's Note: <Insert Headline Here>

Aug 13, 2004, 23:30 (10 Talkback[s])
(Other stories by Brian Proffitt)

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By Brian Proffitt
Managing Editor
Holder of Four-Leaf Clover

It's Friday the 13th, and here in the United States, that is considered to be a day of ill omen.

For me, most days are ill-omened, something that I recognize almost every morning I wake up and realize that sometime during my waking hours I will be subjected to the theme song of "Spongebob Squarepants" for the 1X1014th time.

So, like most ill-omened days, I will spend it by hunkering down and staying away from the TV. And writing whimsical editorials. That would be your bad luck.

As many of you know, I do not write the headlines for most of the stories posted on Linux Today. Since we want absolutely clear attribution, I don't change the headlines except to make them initial-capped and, if need be, shorten them to under 100 characters, since our database gets really testy with big headlines.

There have been several occasions where readers have complained that the headline does not match the story. Or that the headline is deliberately inciteful. Since I can disavow the creation of these headlines, I could simply point at the other sites' editors and say it's their fault. But, I must side with the Brotherhood of Fellow Journalists (we have secret decoder rings and everything) and at least address that last complaint: of course they want to incite you to read the article. That's pretty much most of the headline's job.

Consider a story on the art of making mustard (a new hobby of mine):

Mustard-making a Delicious Way to Spend Time in Kitchen

Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. How try this:

Cooks Can Really Cut the Mustard

Better, see? Now, there could be some abuse of this, I must admit:

Mustard-making Improves Sex Drive

But these abuses are few and far between.

Now, while I take a dispassionate public view of the headlines that top the stories posted on LT, there is still a part of me that wants to chime in an add my own two cents to certain headlines and stories as they roll by my virtual desk. After all, I am human too. If you prick me, do I not bleed and then sue your sorry self for physical and emotional damages? That's what I thought.

So, in the interests of full disclosure, and because I don't want to write another column bashing Rob Enderle because I think it's now akin to baby seal hunting, here are my "extra" thoughts on some of this week's headlines.

eWeek: SCO Litigation Takes Its Toll on Bottom Line
In other words, she canna' take it much longer, Captain!

Lintellect: 10 Gnome Tweaks You Can't Live Without
Which invariably will bring out the KDE trolls you can live without. Don't act smug, GNOME folk, you do it, too.

Wired: Mac Keeps Lead on Linux
Which begs the question: why is this such a big deal? Who cares if we pass the Mac? Linux' successes should not be measured against the defeats of others.

VNUnet: Linux Show Website Powered by Windows
Right. Like IDG should build a new Web server just for the Linux shows. That's consolidation for you. Besides, I am not a huge believer in a Web site's platform reflecting the overall business. Though, just to be clear: Linux       Apache/1.3.27 (Unix) PHP/4.1.2 mod_oas/5.7 mod_cap/2.0

VNUnet: Linux 'No Threat' to Windows on the Desktop
Then why are so many analysts reports getting devoted to this topic? Uh huh, thought so.

Groklaw: Rob Enderle Misunderstands Free Software and Swears a Lot
Okay, one swipe: I agree with the first part, but what does PJ $%$@ing mean about &(()&@$%#! swearing too @#^$$^#%^_)*! much? I only saw a few "BS"es. Seriously, I really think this story boils down to "Analyst Plays to Audience, Stunned When Speech Posted to Rest of Planet."

ZDNet UK: SCO Ponders Hike in 'Linux IP' Licence Fees
Right, because the plan has worked so well so far. Next!

NewsForge: Why People Weren't Talking About The SCO Group at LinuxWorld
Because no one cares? This article was kind of last February, don't you think?

LWN: Software Patents No Bigger Threat to Free Software than to Proprietary Software
This, my friends, was probably the most salient piece posted this week, in my humble opinion.

CNET News: IBM's Linux Revenue: Services to Overtake Servers
My bet with AdTI's Ken Brown is practically in the bag! I'll have the fois gras, please...

California Performance Review: Explore Open Source Alternatives
AH-nold likes open source. He will crush the puny Bill Gates!

SearchEnterpriseLinux: Evaluate Open Source, Or Else
Nothing like a little "Booga, booga! to get the juices flowing.

So there you go, my thoughts on some of the week's events. Now aren't you glad I stay quiet during the rest of the week?