"I didn't want to tell you this in person, because I thought it
might be too complicated, and might take too long. After all, we've
been together for a long time, almost five years and running now. I
know, i know. I know you so well; your control panel, your
installation procedures, even when you get mad and go all blue
screen on me; what can I say, you kinda grew on me.
"But to be honest, things have been going downhill for a long
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