Top White Papers
I Give Up. Windows Is Proof That People Are Too Stupid To Use Computers.
And too stupid or dishonest to report Microsoft Windows as the defective disaster that it is. If it were any other type of product it would have banned from every country in the world long ago. The BBC reports the latest Windows Conficker worm outbreak in typical "oh no big deal" fashion, does not identify this as a Windows worm until several paragraphs into the article, quotes industry security vendors as though they were actually worth listening to and not useless weasels, and then blames end users:
Please excuse me while I go kick something. Of COURSE it's the users' fault. They're still using this most expensive piece of defective crapware in the entire solar system. But its incurable defects are not their fault. (We need to give up the notion that such computer users can be rescued by Linux-- we don't WANT them using Linux. "It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are ingenious".)
It's WINDOWS Malware, NOT Computer Malware
The US and British military are getting clobbered by WINDOWS malware. Not computer malware- WINDOWS malware. Dear journalists, do please take note of this. It is a fact. It is a fact that matters. I know you hate facts and research, so here it is on a platter. You're welcome. Even Wired, which should know better, delivered this piece of prime suckage:
Not once does this article say "Windows" or "Microsoft". We had great fun with the Royal Navy putting Windows on submarines mere weeks ago. But it's not funny anymore:
Of course they downplay it, oh no worries, nothing important, run along now. After all, the nuclear warheads are current with SP4, or something equally idiotic. And once again nobody utters the forbidden word "Windows."
Fighter Planes Grounded By Unimportant, Meaningless Infestation
This one is a real knee-slapper:
And once again the problem is minimized: "It affected exchanges of information but no information was lost. It was a security problem we had already simulated." At the least the reporter was bold enough to say "Microsoft" and "Windows." But sadly, once again, the end users were blamed.
Microsoft Saddles Up the Posse!
I saved the best story for last. I am NOT making this up! Microsoft itself, the richest software company ever, famous for having a cash hoard of tens of billions of dollars, famous for spending billions of dollars developing Windows and yet still can't code its way out of a soggy tissue, is offering a reward:
You must read this article because it is straight out of Bizarro World News. It goes on to describe this ace worldwide confederacy of pros leaping into action to fight this worm: security vendors, Homeland Security, ICANN, Verisign, and universities. Here's the punchline:
A pain in the neck? Did I read that correctly? A PAIN IN THE NECK??
Wow. I can't decide if I want to yell cuss words, or sit down and weep. I guess that makes Conficker "a bit of a bother." I guess if they actually do track down and punish the author of Conficker, the eleventeen-hundred thousand other Windows worms, Windows Trojan Horses, Windows viruses, and other Windows malware will all vanish.
Nobody Blames Microsoft
How much of a rocket scientist does it take to figure out "Hey, if I don't use this piece of crap operating system anymore, I won't have these problems! Hey, it might even be worth suing the vendor for siccing this incredible piece of dung on the world, costing tens of billions of dollars of damage, and endangering public safety!"
But no. After watching this exact same scenario play itself out hundreds of times in the past 13 years, it is impossible to avoid these conclusions:
The one ray of hope is that maybe, just maybe, the thousands of Windows worms will go to war with each other and kill every Windows machine on earth. Though that would be a short-lived cure, because even after a Windows holocaust the first thing the survivors are going to do is get up, dust themselves off, and see if rebooting will bring their systems back up.