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:Joe Pranevich -- Wonderful World of Linux 3.0 (10/18/00) "AWE Edition"
Joe Pranevich -- Wonderful World of Linux 3.0 (10/18/00) "AWE Edition"
Oct 20, 1999, 19 :47 UTC (39 Talkback[s]) (18515 reads)

(Other stories by Joe Pranevich)

It's been a hectic couple months (what, with life as we know it ending and all), but as anyone here at the Expo. can tell you, Linux 3.0 should be ready sometime before Christmas. Over the last several years, Linux has steadily improved as an operating system for everyone's computing needs. What once worked only for the hardy geek hackers who knew the innards of every one of their drivers, gradually became usable to the masses until even "Saint Nicholas" Petreley could use it and we finally emerged as real competition to the Microsoft behemoth. And then, of course, the Y2K bug hit and we were all back at square one looking for something to occupy our time with. (Mushroom farming. Yummy.)

So, here we have it. My (somewhat incomplete) laundry list of the new and improved features in Linux 3.0, the abacus system. As I have been forced to use my last printed copies of Linux Weekly News as fuel for the fire, I could be missing your favorite feature. If I were a nice guy, you could send me a mail about it and I'd include it. But I'm not. It's hard enough to get this stupid thing typed the first time... it's amazingly hard on these damned manual type-writing machines.

In the beginning, there was Linux 1.x and it was good at doing things and multitasking but really wasn't scalable. Linux 2.x came along and it was and that was pretty neat for a while. Some of the kernel developers thought that maybe the next step was clustering and some thought that we need a kernel that works under 64k of RAM. Those people were generally laughed at, of course, but you'll soon see that the Linux 3.x series (still in development as 2.5) is even better than it: it can even work without a computer. (Which is good, because I threw my last Pentium into the fire last week.) Linux 3.x isn't even an operating system! It's an open source "abacus system" which means that you can trade it with your friends and improve your abacus techniques and tell people or even sell your new ideas. (Just so long as they follow RMS's updated AGPL.)

Now, I hate to keep you all waiting so this draft is subtitled the "Abacus World Expo Edition" and may be followed by a later draft or two but maybe not. Typing is hard work! (Which is why this is so short. And besides, how much can you write about an abacus?)

Joe - (formerly at jpranevich@linuxtoday.com but now residing in the red house in the woods three miles west of Sharpers's Pond by the CVS)

--

Linux Internals

Linux 3.0 is amazing in that it doesn't even have internals. It has been streamlined to the point that it probably really doesn't exist except as a bizarre 6th dimensional concept. Fortunately, this concept has been released under the AGPL and can be applied for all of your abacus-computing needs. Unlike previous Linux's which maxed out at 8 or 9 processors, Linux 3.0 has been tested and proven to scale to as many as 30,000 beads in production systems but works reliably in systems with as few as two (provided you only need to add in binary). Linux 3.0 is ideal for embedded tasks and has been installed and used successfully in countless carriages, pocket abacuses, and has even been successfully implanted into old Mr. McGregor. (He mistook my beads for his pills. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Linux 3.0 could even work while still in his stomach!)

It's hard to tell at this point exactly what new features will be included in Linux 3.0. I think we'll see however that Linux 3.0 is shaping up to be the best Linux yet to run on abacuses!

Bead Types

I get asked questions about Linux 3.0 by the media all the time and I have to say that the question that I am most frequently asked is: will Linux 3.0 work on my abacus. I have to say that the answer is a resounding "YES!" Or, well, probably at least. Linux 3.0 has been probably most tested with brown beads (the primary port) however various developers have managed to port Linux 3.0 to a number of different colors including red, orange, black, and purple. More colors are being added every day. (If your color isn't supported, I recommend picking up an oil-based paint from your local art supply house. That generally does the job nicely.) Linux 3.0 has been tested to work with beads ranging from as small as a grain of rice (if you happen to have very small fingers) to as large as a beach ball in size. As always, the kernel developers believe that you'll get the best performance out of beads that are approximately 1.5 times the diameter of your bead-finger.

One often overlooked portion of the kernel is its support for different bead mesh types, including the "copper wire" type that until so recently was the sole domain of the Microsoft abacuses. (As the underlying properties of the copper wire were not open source, kernel developers had some difficulty in porting Linux to properly handle the beads on the racks. Linux 3.0 does not currently include support for "floating beads" (racks that permit beads to be moved from one row to another) but support is progressing and it may be added in time for release.

Unlike previous versions of Linux, Linux 3.0 will not run on any computer or computer-like product unless that product has been chopped into little bits and correctly painted and mounted on a rack. Instructions for doing this can be borrowed from your local geek friend who, if he/she doesn't have it him/herself, may be able to borrow it from one of his/her friends, etc. If you still can't get a copy, just stop by my place and I'll show you how in exchange for some dry goods.

Linux and Plug-and-Play

Linux 3.0 does not yet include PnP features such as hot-swapping of beads or extensible racks without user mode assistance. This is not to say that Linux 3.0 cannot support these devices, only that they will not be supported in the kernel.

Block Devices - EXPERIMENTAL!

Linux 3.0 includes experimental-only support for block devices, commonly known as square beads. These new-design beads are more efficient in space than their spherical counterparts and many can be retrofitted into a geometric tile set. Special features on these beads, for example their ability to have multiple colored "faces" and assorted uses in games of chance, are not and will not be added before Linux 3.0's release.

--

I appreciate any comments that you may have, especially changes that you feel are important that I missed. Comments about how shoddy this is will be ignored, I did it at 5:00 AM while waiting for synthetic load tests to finish up. It's a joke, get it? It's dry humor. It lacks all wit, but may still amuse. As for me, can someone pass me the firewood?

And read After Y2K!


Index Mode   |   Flat Mode   |   Thread Mode   |   Thread Flat  
  Talkback(s) Name  and Date
Hello,

This went up with a little less  ...   After Y2K - www.after-y2k.com   
Joe Pranevich
Oct 20, 1999, 20:01:06
 
Are the rumors true that Linux 3.0 inclu ...   Built in java support?   
dinotrac
Oct 20, 1999, 20:54:57
 
Gee, this was not funny at all.Some peop ...   Pranavich - Not funny   
Huibert Kivits
Oct 20, 1999, 21:41:05
 
I don't get it.  ...   Huh?   
O. Blivious
Oct 20, 1999, 22:15:53
 
Give the guy a break man. He wrote it at ...   Re: Pranavich - Not funny   
Erdal Emsiz
Oct 20, 1999, 22:42:46
 
I understand that Joe boy would like to  ...   Tsk tsk   
Alastor
Oct 20, 1999, 23:28:30
 

    Some LinuxToday readers are being t ...   relax   
just another perl hacker
Oct 21, 1999, 02:05:51
 
Well, it seems I have some detractors. F ...   Hello!   
Joe Pranevich
Oct 21, 1999, 02:34:28
 
The article doesn't specify if Linux ...   Linux 3.0 -Y2K   
B Lister
Oct 21, 1999, 02:47:36
 
You wrote that crap as well? Man that st ...   Re: After Y2K - www.after-y2k.com   
Joe
Oct 21, 1999, 04:07:54
 
Hi.. Linux 3.0 sounds really fantastic,  ...   ports to other platforms?   
George Fouse
Oct 21, 1999, 04:38:52
 
   Well just keep in mind that there is  ...   Re: Joe Pranevich - Hello!   
Alastor
Oct 21, 1999, 05:43:12
 
But who cares?If the dodo had laid a few ...   Re: Hello! -- Hey, they can't all be brillian   
dinotrac
Oct 21, 1999, 06:34:41
 
So the Chinese actually wrote Linux 3.0  ...   The Chinese wrote it   
Mun Wai
Oct 21, 1999, 06:58:37
 
hiho,please, don't be too serious. a ...   Re: Re: After Y2K - www.after-y2k.com   
Andreas
Oct 21, 1999, 07:20:15
 
If i rebuild the 3.0 kernel with double  ...   What about export restrictions?   
Big D
Oct 21, 1999, 08:36:14
 
Well, I liked it. But then I'm from  ...   Gee, tough crowd...   
Kevin
Oct 21, 1999, 09:20:51
 
I am looking for a Good UNIX based OS wi ...   I am looking for a Good UNIX based OS   
Miroslav Natchev
Oct 21, 1999, 09:50:57
 
Some of you people have no sense of humo ...   Oh, Give me a Break   
Jon Horner
Oct 21, 1999, 11:29:12
 
You left out your most popular coment.   ...   Final   
Kevin Forge
Oct 21, 1999, 12:15:12
 
I found this artical frighteningly funny ...   Frighteningly Funny   
Wes
Oct 21, 1999, 12:36:23
 
If you don't like it, stop reading a ...   STOP WHINING!   
fvw
Oct 21, 1999, 12:49:43
 
Can linux 3.0 network with other abacii? ...   networking   
closms
Oct 21, 1999, 13:36:45
 
I found this very amusing...and I DIDN&# ...   Well..at least I thought it funny ;)   
Caine
Oct 21, 1999, 14:34:10
 
Is Linux 3.0 and my Dec Abacus survive p ...   Hey Joe.   
Mouring
Oct 21, 1999, 14:52:49
 
I went to BeadWire the other day and the ...   /dev/bead1   
scumbucket
Oct 21, 1999, 15:27:49
 
I came here to invite you all to join th ...   distributed.beads   
humbug
Oct 21, 1999, 16:00:11
 
I recently aquired the VA package (Virtu ...   Additions   
richard
Oct 21, 1999, 16:29:14
 
Okay, I duck-taped to 2.9.5pre3 on my 42 ...   2.9.5pre3 hangs   
Jered
Oct 21, 1999, 16:32:26
 
Jered:The mipsacus has well-deserved rep ...   Re: 2.9.5pre3 hangs   
dinotrac
Oct 21, 1999, 17:14:55
 
I tried using Linux on my abacus the oth ...   Abacus Linux sux!   
Bill G.
Oct 21, 1999, 17:38:27
 
i've found that compiling with the B ...   2.9.5pre3 hangs   
lambchop
Oct 21, 1999, 17:41:32
 
I think I'm mostly concerned about t ...   iMacBacus + mouse support   
christian
Oct 21, 1999, 17:48:13
 
First off, I've been hearing that th ...   Ramblings   
JD
Oct 21, 1999, 17:59:01
 
I've come up with a method to make a ...   Linux 3.0.1 EMACS   
Janus
Oct 21, 1999, 19:56:05
 
Christian:

Linux 3.0 does, indeed work  ...   Re: iMacBacus + Mouse Support   
htmlGuru
Oct 21, 1999, 20:04:50
 
Perhaps you should check out the efforts ...   iMacBacus + mouse support   
spoot
Oct 21, 1999, 20:59:10
 

 I hear that Transmeta will be able to  ...   Transmeta Bead   
Ken Tyler
Oct 22, 1999, 02:36:12
 
Wow, here I thought the abacus I saw in  ...   Hey Joe   
Floyd Pink
Oct 22, 1999, 05:23:19
 
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