What a week this has been. It started off wonderfully, in my
brand-new job that I inherited from the incomparable Brian Proffitt.
After six years of artfully steering the good ship Linux Today (and
LinuxPlanet, and several other Jupitermedia sites), Brian has moved on
to hobnob with the likes of Linus and other Linux luminaries.
Naturally
I was very excited and pleased to be chosen as his successor; while I
am not worthy to fill his aromatic old sandals, I will do my best to at
least not wreck the joint.
The happy glow lasted about half a
day. (Boss, if you’re reading this you really should stop now. Really.
The rest is very boring and a waste of your time. Honestly, don’t
bother.)
It seems to be an unwritten law that starting a new job
excites and incites the spirits of mischief, who then spring into
action and do their darndest to sabotage everything you do, and make
your new bosses wonder what possessed them to ever think you were worth
hiring. Want to know what the spirits of mischief did to me? Whether
you do or not I’m going to tell you. The little beasts possessed my
phone lines and killed my Internet connection.
Oh, it all started innocently enough with a happy email from my service provider:
"Faster Speeds! Please read!
"Tomorrow
morning starting around 5 am, our technician will be installing the
necessary equipment to increase our backbone, which means faster
speeds! All customers should notice the increase, especially
dsl/broadband customers!
"You should not experience any trouble,
in the event you do have difficulty logging on to the internet once the
network has been restored-a reboot of your computer, router/modem and
equipment, should have you back on line!"
Oh yeah. No sweat.
Just one little problem: by the end of a day punctuated by recurring
outages, not only did I not have New! Faster! DSL!, I didn’t even have
dialup. Nor any phone service at all. In fact as I write this I’m
getting ready to head to a friend’s house to finish working. They’re
sure going to be pleased to see me at 7am tomorrow too! Which is not
quite as bad as being caught with no shelter in a hailstorm, but it’s
close. Pshaw, you say, just go to a coffee shop or Internet cafe. How I
wish I could- this is the sticks, friends, the real backwoods. We’re
lucky to have flush toilets.
The sort-of good news is this has
been a great test-to-destruction trial of my contingency plans. I have many
contingency plans for all occasions. I have a Plan A, and a Plan B, and
several more letters of the alphabet. This is necessary because out in
this here neck of the woods the power likes to go out a lot, and so far
I haven’t figured how to power a computer with a woodstove. So I have
several alternate places to work, and if I have to dialup is always
available. Good old phone company, hanging in through thick and thin.
Except today. No dialup, no phone at all. The phone tech who was theoretically
fixing my phone lines flew out of here at the dot of five, without so
much as a “Haha hoho heehee I’m leaving, sucker”. Guess what, Mr. Phone
Tech- I was sorry that you got stung by wasps at my house. But now I’m
not. I hope they come back for a second attack.
So through
cunning, resourcefulness, and sheer stubbornness I’m getting the job
done. Which just goes to show that stubbornness can be a positive
trait, and I’m going to make sure my mom reads this because she always
thinks I’m too stubborn. Well this time it paid off, Mom! Haha!
Welcome
Linux Today readers, new, old, and middlin’, and barring plagues of
locusts and rivers of blood, you’re stuck with me! (I think locusts are
covered by Plan W…)
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