Wise and True Sayings About Computers

I’ve been collecting these for some time. I can’t promise they are attributed correctly–you know how things get morphed as they roam the Internet–so feel free to let me know about any mistakes.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. -Mitch Ratcliffe

We will never become a truly paper-less society until the Palm Pilot folks come out with WipeMe 1.0. –Andy Pierson

First snow, then silence

This thousand dollar screen dies

So beautifully

What boots up must come down.

At least my pencil never crashes.

Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. –Steve Wozniak

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. –Ken Olson, President, of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

Today, you always know whether you are on the Internet or on your PC’s hard drive. Tomorrow, you will not care and may not even know. –Bill Gates (I care, geez!)

Where is the /etc/passwd located?

The most secure computer in the world is one not connected to the internet. That’s why I recommend Telstra ADSL.

Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth’s rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves. –Kraigen

<danamania> yay I fixed my laptops battery!

<danamania> it was so dead, nothing would charge it

<danamania> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes

<gelfie> don’t they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?

<danamania> yeah but it’s ok, I took them off first.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’ –Dave Barry

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. –1949 Popular Mechanics

Hi. I don’t care. Thank you. –Angel, ace tattoo artist and Mac geek

I have a spelling checker It came with my PC;

It plainly marks four my


Mistakes I cannot sea.

I’ve run this poem threw it, I’m sure your

pleased too no,

Its letter perfect in it’s weigh,

My checker tolled me sew. — Janet Minor

Get the Free Newsletter!

Subscribe to Developer Insider for top news, trends, & analysis