Big Brother Now Controls Your Telescreen

Those guys – Google, Facebook and Yahoo – all denied it ever happened. Not on their watch. Not on their servers. But Obama was on the radio all afternoon pretty much admitting it was true. We’re not supposed to worry, however. It’s just the godless foreigners who’re being targeted. And if the godless foreigners are living in the United States, they’re safe too. U.S. soil is evidently some kind of base, like in baseball.

We found this to be particularly disturbing. We remember the stories we’ve been trying to forget about the huge data center the feds are building that will be so massive it’ll be able to store practically every single thing that happens on the Internet. We don’t like thinking about that, because we gave up having real lives a long time ago in order to live on the Internet. Now we understand the Internet is a lot like Toon Town, and none of us are safe.