True IT Tales of Horror: Crazed Wax Custodians Hold School District Hostage

In part 1 of our little series, True IT Tales of Horror: Dave’s Not Here we were introduced to the Precious Progeny Public School District, and learned that the combined efforts of IT staff, a teacher, and multiple administrative assistants are almost adequate to the task of ordering a laptop battery. Today we return to PPPSD to try to liberate the school district from the tyrannical grip of its crazed wax custodians.

Summertime in the district offices of the Precious Progeny Public School District should be a relaxed time; teachers and students are gone, and both administrative and IT staffers look forward to finishing work projects in relative peace.

But this pleasant dream remains a fantasy, for summertime is when the Crazed Wax Custodians (official motto: Wax We Must) emerge from their lairs to rampage and terrorize. They spend the entire school year with one arm propped on a reception counter, holding a cup of coffee (see, they can too multi-task) and the other hand propped on a hip. So nine months of pent-up energy erupt irresistibly during the summer break.

Nothing stands in their way: not furniture, not computers, not even an arm-linked line of determined IT guys trying to stake out a tiny bit of turf to call their own. Seized by the irresistible wax compulsion they sweep into classrooms, pile all the computers and furniture in the hall, then wax and buff the floors to a high gloss. Including the power and data ports in the floors. Then, being considerate fellows, they put the chairs and computers back in an aesthetically-pleasing random order.

When it’s all finished everyone is happy and admiring. “Oo shiny!” Then students and teachers return to class, and the custodians return to their normal state of semi-hibernation.

It’s all true. I am not making this up. Except for the happy ending.

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