“Well, it’s happened again. Under the watchful eyes of
Ziff-Davis, employers of the world-renowned Sir Jesse of Berst, the
Mindcraft test has proven that Windows NT is good for nothing.”
“Mindcraft, and its sequel ‘Mindcraft II: The Empire Strikes
Back’, prove conclusively that if NT is going to win a benchmark,
it had better be a benchmark so bizarre that no one with an IQ
above your average North American tree sloth would ever dare to
implement it in real life.”
“In case you want to recreate the test in your basement or local
laundromat, let me give you a quick rundown of the essential
technical details. First, you need a server. Not just any server,
mind you, but a bona fide super-sized, nuclear-powered,
send-the-Japanese-peasants-screaming-in-terror server. Think of
Godzilla in silicon. Think of a box big enough to hold Larry
Ellison’s ego. Think of a box that could hold all of Al Gore’s
missing social skills. Got it? Now double it…”